Knowledge Base/Loss of a Loved One
Life milestone · 02Loss of a Loved One
When a spouse dies, the surviving spouse has to process their grief while simultaneously going through a mountain of paperwork. Their struggle can be compounded exponentially if they don't have access to accounts, logins, multi-factor authentication, or delays in benefits payouts. This kit exists to prepare your family for the worst day of their lives: what genuinely needs doing in the first weeks, what the survivor benefit systems actually provide, and how to prioritize everything else.
This kit can help you if:
you just lost your spouse or you want to prepare your family.
If you are going through this now, start with the first-weeks checklist and let everything else wait until you need it. If you are here because you handle the money and you want your family never to face this unprepared, start with The Conversation Before. The kit is the same, but it serves two purposes: it guides a survivor, and helps everyone else.
The checklist, the readiness conversation, and the guidance on timing all apply to any family, whatever the employer. A dedicated private-sector benefits guide (Social Security survivor benefits, private retirement accounts, employer life insurance) is on the way; for now these universal pages will serve you well.
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Act · Checklist
The First Weeks: A Financial Triage Checklist
→The short list of what actually needs to be done now, what can wait a month, and what can wait a year. Includes the account-access trap that catches many families.
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Orient · Guide
Military Survivor Benefits: What Your Family Receives and Where It Comes From
→The death gratuity, SGLI, DIC, the Survivor Benefit Plan, TRICARE, housing, and education benefits after a military death, with estimate figures and sources.
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Orient · Guide
Federal Civilian Survivor Benefits: The FERS, FEGLI, and Workers' Compensation Map
→If your spouse was a federal civilian employee, a different system applies. The death benefit, the survivor annuity rules, life insurance, the TSP, and health coverage.
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Reference · Map
The Survivor Benefit Map, Glossary, and Forms
→Every benefit on one grid, organized by two important questions: is the payout lump sum or monthly recurring, and is it taxed. Plus a plain-language glossary and the forms you will see.
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Orient · Perspective
Grief and Money: Why the Wisest Move Is Often to Wait
→How loss can alter decision-making, which choices have real deadlines and which only feel urgent, and how to protect yourself from pressure while you find your footing.
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Reflect · Perspective
The Conversation Before: Could Your Spouse Pick Up the Pieces?
→For the one who handles the money. The seemingly simple questions, this half-hour exercise measures your family's real readiness, and the three things to do this week.
This kit was built for real families the practice has walked alongside after a sudden loss. In every case, the hardest part was not any single benefit. It was not knowing what needed attention now and what could safely wait. These pages are the answer to that question, written down so no one has to figure it out alone at the worst possible time.
The benefits are yours.
The sorting out can be shared.
If you are facing this now, a conversation costs nothing and commits you to nothing. Bring your questions, or bring the whole pile of paperwork. We will take it one piece at a time.